The Plight of the Mother of the Bride (and Mother of the Groom, Too)
Are your parents driving you crazy while planning your wedding? Cut them some slack! This was a post I wrote for Huffington Post several years ago, and has been updated for 2022.
Mother's Day is just around the corner, and as I began reflecting on my own relationship with my mother, I decided to take a look at mothers of my most memorable couples, as well.
My mom has always, and will always be, my biggest advocate, supporter, and champion whenever I achieve a measure of success. She'll also offer counsel, guidance and support when I'm not showing my best side. That is why I love her, and she returns the favor. I lost my mother to cancer in July of 2021, so this will be my first Mother’s Day without her, which is why it was important to me to update this blog.
Mom and I getting our Annual Mother’s Day Mimosas on.
Mothers of the Bride and Mothers of the Groom (MOB and MOG respectively) often get a bad rap in the wedding industry. They're sometimes seen as overbearing, ridiculous, and uneducated in terms of what it takes to produce a wedding. If the mothers aren't contributing financially, this scrutiny inside the industry, as well as with their children, increases. Throughout my 10 years of being a houston wedding planner, I’ve been fortunate to work with some pretty extraordinary MOBs and MOGs, and I have also seen my fair share of perceived spotlight stealers. One common thread that bonds all of these women together, is that they all gave birth to a child who is fixing to enter into a lifelong commitment with another person.
A candid shot of Erica’s mom putting the finishing touches on the bride before her wedding at Life HTX.
While they might not always get their opinions or advice across in an optimal fashion (who does?) 99.99 percent of them are offering suggestions from a place of love, and a strong devotion to ensuring their child has the most amazing day and celebration humanly possible within their means. That is an enormous amount of pressure to be placed on one individual! Mix that with the thought that this is one of the last steps for a parent. Their child has gone through school, possibly college, and grown to be a wonderful human being, and now, they're placing one of the final pieces into the puzzle, marriage.
Hector hugging his mom before getting ready for his big day. Photo Courtesy: DC Stanley Photography
In this stage of my life, I'll never fully know the thoughts and emotions that run through a mother when she's about to support her child entering into his/her wedding day, but I can certainly empathize with these women. My clients often ask me to talk to their mother about decisions pertaining to the wedding because, they're dealing with a Mother of the Bride or Groom for the first time, while we deal with several different ones on a rotating basis. All of the mothers have opinions, all of them have ideas, all of them have criticism, but they all also have something else, an unbreakable will to love their son or daughter, regardless of if they choose roses or peonies for the centerpieces.
Cherish your mom, and cut her some slack; she was probably the first one who taught you how to love unconditionally.
Mark and his mom hugging during his wedding at Ashton Villa. Photo Courtesy: DC Stanley Photography
